Tri-Racial American

Jonathan Ng, a fourth-year student at California State University, San Bernardino writes about his experience as a "tri-racial American":

"The feeling of being connected to the Black community was great. I had a group of people I could hang out with who looked like me, shared similar traits and mannerisms and be accepted by them as a Black man. However, I felt that it did not satisfy my craving to belong as much as I thought. I did not know why for a while, but then I realized that I held so much pride in my mixed heritage. I felt a piece of my puzzle was missing, “What about my White side; what about my Chinese side? Could I be accepted by them too?”

I always had a struggle accepting myself as part of these other cultures due to doubts clouding my mind. I thought, I don’t look White, so there was no way I would be accepted as one of them — and Asians, don’t even think about it — they would never give me a shot. It was depressing to think about, but I wouldn’t feel satisfied unless I really tried. I believed in the “One-drop rule,” but not just for Black people, for all races. However, not everybody agrees with me.

For me, White culture was and always has been a little hard to grasp, since I’ve lived in SoCal’s diverse environment. I could never put my finger on it; I couldn’t do anything to feel a part of the White community. Being a part of the Chinese community has always been difficult for me, too, because the idea of fitting in seemed so intimidating..."

Read the full essay here.